Overwhelmed
by Neyuwa
Summary: "You don't understand, because I didn't grew up in a loving family like you!" NijiAka One Shot


Shuzo wrapped his arm about the red headed boy's body. He was warm. Really warm, but he shivered. Shuzo moved one hand up to his Forehead. "I think you have a fever, Seijuro.." He sounded a little worried. He laid his chin down on the smaller one's shoulder. Even like this he was able to feel and hear his heart beat. "Do you want to be alone so you can rest a little?"

The other boy mumbled a "no."

'How unusual..' Shuzo though. "Since when do you mumble like this? I never heard you mumble. It is cute." He tried to cheer him up a little but didn't succeed. He should have known.

"I am not.. Shut your mouth Shuzo." He was upset. He sounded upset. Shuzo knew it. He just hugged him a little tighter, whispered into his ear.

"What is the matter, Seijuro." Usually he would react to this with a blush, even if just a slight. Shuzo always whispered into his ear when he wanted to see his cheeks turn a little red. But this time, there was no change. Maybe because he already had a little more color in his face than usual.

"I told you to shut your mouth… Can you for once do what I tell you?" His voice trembled. Shuzo heard it, even though Seijuro tried to stay strong and suppress it. He wouldn't show weakness and wouldn't admit anything, that's what he thought.

"I can't." The black haired didn't sound upset or hurt. He actually laughed a little. "You are my boyfriend. I know that there is something wrong and I want you to talk to me. I want to help you and I can't do that when you don't tell me what's wrong. Whatever it is, I understand and always am there for you. You should know this by now."

Silence.

Seijuro didn't answer at all. His breathing became a little harder and slower.

"Seijuro?" Shuzo tried again. "Hey, are you listening."

A nod.

"You really don't want to talk.." He hesitated. He now sounded a little bit hurt. For month already they have been a couple and now that. He felt like Seijuro wouldn't trust him. "Maybe I should go for a while and leave you."

No response, but also, Seijuro didn't move and inch. He kept sitting on Shuzo's lap. His feet didn't touch the ground . His back was leaned against Shuzo's chest. What Shuzo couldn't see, were his hand's trembling and his eyes being all red and wet. Tears kept on rolling over his cheeks. He wouldn't sob. Not now. He didn't want Shuzo to notice. This was the reason he didn't talk. He knew his voice would break.

"Seijuro, move aside now." Shuzo took his head away from his shoulder and loosened the hug a little.

The other boy had to react now. He didn't want Shuzo to leave. Not now. He grabbed both of his hands, wrapped them around his body again and pulled his own away again.

"What are you doing?" The black haired chuckled.

No answer, but then he felt something. It dripped onto his hand. It was wet. A tear? Was the usually so strong Akashi Seijuro really crying? There was no way. He couldn't… But there was another drop. No. Shuzo now knew it was another tear. Another sign of Seijuros actual weakness.

"Sei…" His voice trembled. He was now worried. Not upset anymore. Not even sad. Just worried. He moved his hands and even though he wasn't able to see his face, he laid it down on the other ones face. "Why are you crying?"

Seijuro broke. He opened his mouth to speak but there was no word coming out of it. Instead he finally sobbed. He made some noises he last made when he was a kid. A young kid to be exact.

Shuzo whipped away his tears kindly. "Try to breath slowly. Count to ten and tell me what is wrong. I beg you. I won't judge. I promise."

"It is just too much… Too much work to do.. Too many duties…" He finally stood up and walked some steps. "I can't do it anymore."

"I can help you with it Sei…"

"You can't! There are things you just can't help with! Business stuff… Schoolwork.." He sank down on his knees. Shuzo walked to him and knelt down in front of him. He took his trembling hands and with a warm smile he spoke.

"I can, Sei. Just let me try."

Seijuro pushed him away.. "Stop it! You have your own things to do! Your own responsibilities! If you help me, you will just get overworked. It will stress you as much as it stresses me now. I barely have time to even eat, sleep and also meet you.."

"Seijuro that is why I want to help you. Like this we can spend more time together. We share the work and everything will get better.. I promise it." He hugged his boyfriend tightly, not intending to let go of him. Eve when he tried to push him away, he stayed strong. Eventually Seijuro admitted his loss. He let his arms hang down.

"I never had someone like this.." he whispered into Shuzo's ear.

"Like what?" He seemed a little confused, yet his voice was kind and warm.

"Never in my life someone helped me. I was alone with everything. I had to figure everything out on my own. I barely even existed, but yet they expected me to be perfect. To be absolute and make o mistakes. To listen to what I am told." His voice stayed silent. There were no sobs and no tears anymore, but it sounded like he was about to cry again. Shuzo stroke through his hair.

"I understand this Seijuro.."

"You don't!" Suddenly Seijuro pushed him. He stared at him angry, frustrated and disappointed. "You don't get it Shuzo! You have your loving family. Everybody always is there for you and is kind. When your father was sick, you had each other! You weren't alone!" He wrapped his arms around himself and got up from the floor. From there he looked down on Shuzo, whose expressions had changed. Seijuro could read them. He was hurt. But not as hurt as he was himself. "But when my mother died, no one would take care of me. My father got stricter, the servants tried to act like nothing at all happened and I was alone with my pain and my aching heart. I suffered and nobody cared." He tumbled some steps backwards until he hit the wall with his back.

Shuzo slowly got up again. "Seijuro…" He wasn't able to say more.

The red haired held an hand on his own forehead. He felt dizzy. "When I said I missed her, I was ignored. When I said I have too much work or I need help, I was screamed at. I didn't have the luck like you to grow up in a happy, loving family where everybody is there for each other. I grew up isolated from that so called love, without any help, or even a hug." His voice slowly faded. His throat was dried out and also Shuzo realized this. He came closer, held a finger in front of Seijuro's mouth.

"Shh.." He smiled warmly. "I told you that I understand and when I say it, I really do." He once again wrapped his arms around the red head and stroke his back. "But now you have me Sei.. I am here to help you, to take care of you, to hug you and also, to give you all the love you want." With a finger he raised Seijuro's chin up a little and gave him a quick, yet loving kiss.

Seijuro's eyes filled with tears once again. This time he smiled.


End file.
